Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and many are, for sure, thinking about ways to make their loved ones feel the most special this February. Some may have already scheduled deliveries of the classic and grand flower bouquets; some could have reserved tables for romantic dinners in the best restaurants in Metro Manila; and some may have chosen to write letters to show their love through heartfelt words. Truth of the matter is, a lot may still be looking for more Valentine’s Day ideas, which is why Mr. Butler wants to share with you the interesting ideas presented by Dr. Gary Chapman’s popular book, The Five Love Languages.
The book described that, depending on our individual traits and personality types, the way we feel loved and appreciated differs from each other; these were then categorized into the ‘five love languages’. Know more about each of the five love languages and get some ideas how you could show your love differently:
1.Words of affirmation
Expressing your love with sincere words and explaining the reasons why – that is a powerful way to exhibit ‘words of affirmation’. Psychologist William James said that the deepest human need is possibly the need to feel appreciated. Words of affirmation will meet that need in many individuals.
2. Quality time
Spend time together while being present and give your full undivided attention. This does not just mean sitting on the couch while watching Netflix or prime time TV show together, because in this way, Netflix or the TV show has your attention -not your spouse. Instead, turn off the TV, put the phones away, and simply be present in each other’s company. If your spouse’s primary love language is quality time, he/she simply wants you.
3. Receiving gifts
For some, receiving gifts, as visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest.
To them, gifts and gestures show that you are loved and cared for. They thrive on the thought and effort behind a visual representation of love. If you struggle to know what gifts to give, then just ask their friends or family (and just do your best to keep it a secret so the surprise feels better).
4. Physical touch
Physical presence and accessibility are important to someone whose primary love language is physical touch. As a powerful way to communicate love, acts such as holding hands, pats on the back, kissing, and embracing are all effective ways to make them happy. Without these, they may feel unloved. With these, they feel affirmed.
5. Acts of service
“Actions speak louder than words.”
It means a lot when someone goes out of the way to do something for someone else, especially when it’s a sacrifice. This is an ‘act of service’ that people preferring this love language will appreciate a lot.
Consider actions such as fixing things around the house, or keeping the car in good condition — types of action that require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are effective expressions of love.